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The story is about Retired Commander Quinton McChale, who may live a quiet life spending his days everywhere in the Caribbean in his old home selling eggs and ice cream. Quenton retired when his old enemy turned the second best terrorist in the world, Major Vladikov, to take over San Marino and destroy the place through a nuclear industry. Quinton seems to be trying to stop all this with the help of his old crew and his obstacles from Captain Wallace Binghamton.
All apologies to the handful of Americans who've waited decades for this big-screen update of the '60s sitcom--the result is both awful and awfully irrelevant.
This shotgun marriage of coarse laughs and low-rent action cliches is, of course, utterly predictable: Cutting-edge comedy isn't lurking under the corpses of old TV shows.
[Trots] out the same tired cliches -- unorthodox heroes, inept commanding officers, officious little weasels getting trampled by the zany crew -- which haven't been funny since...well, ever.